I have a confession to make: I’m a nice guy.

Sometimes I can be too nice. As the founder of a successful technology consulting firm, I take pride in knowing I treat my staff and clients with the respect that they deserve. In the long run, this has helped me grow my company into a successful and profitable business. On the flip side, relying on niceties has resulted in unexpected loss and unmanageable problems.

In the mercurial world of business, being too nice can cause more than a few business blisters. Here are some of my learning experiences (a.k.a. war stories):

1. Build the foundation first.
I hired a number of consultants who did a great job wearing many hats for our clients. Everything was going well until one of the senior consultants approached me about a full-time sales role. He had no proven sales track record and didn’t exactly excel in a sales capacity; however, he wanted to go for it, and he had served me loyally throughout the years. After weighing the options, I elected to give him the opportunity. I felt that I owed it to him. I wanted to be nice.

Providing him with this sales opportunity wasn’t necessarily a bad decision, given that there were specific performance metrics that were mutually agreed to beforehand. The problem was that he was one of three salespeople, and if he didn’t pull his weight, the company would suffer. When he eventually missed his numbers, so did we.

In retrospect, I learned that if the appropriate foundation isn’t in place to allow for a heightened level of risk taking, I shouldn't do it. A better approach would have been to build the foundation and recurring revenue base so that it would allow for more leeway as he cut his teeth.

2. Get it in writing.
My company often serves as a prime contractor representing a collection of technology vendors. However, there are times when we act as a sub-contractor for a vendor introduced into a deal. On one occasion, we did just that and agreed to move forward on a big project. Our expectations were high, and the rewards were substantial.

Precedent with this vendor was such that we mutually agreed to the terms and conditions by shaking hands. The business relationship was strong, so we didn’t need a contract. After all, we had worked on other deals based solely on a handshake. Unfortunately, a number of unforeseen circumstances presented themselves, and this "strong" relationship was put in jeopardy. Because of the absence of explicitly-stated terms and conditions, we almost lost a valuable partner and a mighty deal.

There's nothing more important in business than these four words: "Get it in writing." I made that mistake, and it nearly cost me. While some may feel that a written contract undermines trust or collaboration, its absence can create havoc if issues arise— even if both parties have the best of expectations. I learned that being too nice and comfortable in a relationship can lead to unexpected turmoil. Always get it in writing.

In my experience, there’s a fine balance between being nice and too nice. I’ve learned that a healthy dose of diplomacy and kindness can take me far, so long as it doesn’t impede on the fundamentals of my business and business relationships.

And remember, nice guys don’t always have to finish last.

To read all about Russ’s Nice Guy concepts, visit NiceGuyStrategies.com. You can also learn more about his Nice Guy Strategies when the Penguin Group publishes his book in late July 2008.